Here we are again, revealing what women around the globe told us about what they wanted out of life in today's world. In addition to the five things we've already discussed, women want to have their own personal, disposable income.  At this point in time, some do and some don't (have it).

Women in the United States are very familiar with having disposable income, and are finding themselves coming to terms with their personal financial security issues, given the recent and continuing economic conditions.  They want to be in control of their money and they want to contribute to the security of their family.

Latin American women are very good planners when it comes to their finances.  Because personal credit is uncommon, she cannot overextend herself; she can only spend what she has, so she plans carefully.

For women in China, discretionary money is still a relatively new phenomenon.  No matter how well she is cared for by her husband, she still wants to be able to spend "her own money".  In Korea, most of a woman's disposable income goes directly toward educating her children.

In Eastern Europe, money management is a new skill.  Most Soviet-era parents didn't have the money to need the skill, so this was not something that they passed on to their children.  Today, many of these women take pride in their ability to restrain themselves, but for the majority, the temptation of shopping is too new and too wonderful to resist.

The interesting thing about this global desire for personal income is that it's not really about the MONEY at all.  And it's not about the STUFF that the money can buy.  You see, it's all about the INDEPENDENCE and AUTONOMY that the money allows. It's about the empowered feeling that comes from sensing that you are in control of this important aspect of your life.  It's about the FREEDOM to treat yourself, if that's what you want to do, or to treat someone else, or to give to your favorite charity. 

When I ponder my own thoughts about having money to spend, I recall times when I didn't have much, as almost all was going to pay bills. Seems like that was the time that I had the strongest desire to shop and buy things. (Why is it that we always want what we can't/don't have?)  Now, with my children out of the house and supporting themselves (OK, mostly!) and my husband retired, I find myself with more discretionary money, but interestingly enough, no desire to shop.  Don't get me wrong here, I do like nice things, but there are other things I like better.  Like no stress from trying to pay for those things.  Less stuff in the house means less to have to clean around (Yes, I have always and still do clean my own house). Perhaps I've reached that magic moment in life when I've finally received the wisdom that happiness doesn't come from stuff.  While I'm no longer interested in acquiring stuff, however, I can tell you that having discretionary money is very important to me, for all the same reasons that we heard from other women.  You see having the ability gives me the freedom to choose if I want to give extra to my church, help my parents with their medical expenses, pay off my mortgage early, or give to political candidates that support issues I feel strongly about.  

One of our Mary Kay Independent National Sales Directors, Linda Toupin, from Kentucky, is famous for saying that "money buys you choices".  I agree.  And apparently the women of the world agree, and they like the choices that come with having their own personal disposable income. 

Another of the "10 Things Women Want Now" is a fulfilling career.  We heard from some stay-at-home moms in the US that they feel adrift when their kids no longer need them every minute of the day, and wonder if they should have continued to pursue their careers or completed their educations.  Latina women in the US felt that a career was a vital part of being a "complete, modern woman". The Chinese women we heard from were well aware of the trade-offs of their careers, and few were completely comfortable with being stay-at-home moms.  They seem to need a modern, autonomous view of themselves, apart from their family.  This same desire for an element of autonomy drives women in Ukraine and Russia to pursue a career.

This sense of autonomy seems to be relevant regardless of culture or geography.  Our careers are a very important part of our identity, and are significant contributors to our overall sense of independence and completeness.  What seems to differ regionally is how long this has been important to women.  In the US, it's well into the third generation, and some may even say four.  However, in Eastern Europe, this phenomenon is barely a generation old.

I think this aspect is at the very center of the on-going challenge that women have in finding balance in their lives. On one hand, a fulfilling career is part of who we want to be, yet it comes with many trade-offs that impact other areas of our lives that are equally, or even more, important.  I have been off-balance many times in the past, and found myself struggling with deciding what I needed to do to get things flowing smoothly again. The answers were never immediate, easy or win-win.  They were tough choices.  I'm sure I made some bad ones.  But sitting where I am now, things turned out okay in spite of that.  That doesn't mean that I wouldn't have made some different choices if I had known then what I know now.  (I'm not sure I will ever understand why we get the wisdom after we make all the mistakes!)

When I was growing up in my Mary Kay career, I learned from watching the other women around me.  Apparently, others do too, as evidenced by our research.  These women told us that they model themselves after other successful women for their own roapmap to professional success.  (I will also tell you that some of my greatest learnings came from watching women that I DIDN'T want to behave like.) Women who appear "put-together" and "complete" are the most revered, and their advice is trusted.  I was blessed to be able to watch and learn from Mary Kay Ash herself, as well as our many female sales leaders who gave me plenty of positive examples for female leadership in business. 

Now, as a tenured professional woman, who has survived managing family and career as I was climbing the corproate ladder, I know one thing for certain.  I know that my career filled a very important role in shaping who I am.  It gave me an identity that I alone owned, separate and apart from my identity within my family.  I know for certain that, had I not had the career that I have loved for the past 25 years, I would now not feel as complete and fulfilled as I do. 

Let's continue our look at "What Women Want".  As a reminder, here's what Mary Kay learned from our research with women around the world:

Ten Things Women Want Now

1.  Completeness                                          6.  Personal Income

2.  Strength & Independence                       7.  Men, sometimes

3.  Family + Choice                                       8.  Pampering

4.  Fulfilling Career                                       9.  Social Media

5.  Connection/Sisterhood                         10.  Trust

Today, I'm going to share with you more about #2 - Strength & Independence.

This desire is all about feminine power.  Not in a "better than" way, but in a "different than but equal to" way.  For these women, feminine power today is no longer a political rallying cry or a movement -- it's a tacit, personal assumption.  It's a state of being.  It's just the way things are.

For women in the United States, this takes the form of confidence, and comes from "knowing what I'm talking about."  For Latinas in the US, it is more about emotional strength,  These women shared how their mothers taught them to "Take it like a woman!"  The women of Mexico and Brazil desire emotional independence (from men), and that is even more important to them than having financial independence.  They seek a quiet resolve that helps them overcome any obstacle that life throws at them.  Females in China and Korea speak about strength and independence in the form of financial autonomy, citing that this gives them the power to speak their mind and make their own decisions, even if others don't like them.  These women have definitely separated themselves from any connection to a traditional, submissive-style relationship. They consider themselves to be open-minded and vocal, not introverts.  Our Eastern-European sisters from Russia and Ukraine, summed it up like this: "She stops the horse that is running and enters the house that is burning!"

While I suppose you could consider strength and independence as two separate characteristics, they are so interrelated they become one.  It is the strength that allows for the independence, and in being independent a women further develops her strength.  Independence has become  the ultimate product of female empowerment. It's not something that the government provides, an organization lobbies for, or a job allows.  It's PERSONAL.  It's about ME and the people in my life.

It means that I can compose my life AS I CHOOSE, from many strands.  It means I can CHOOSE to be financially or professionally powerful.  Or, the greatest mom in the world. The best friend, or caring daughter or loving wife.  It means I can CHOOSE to be all of these, or none of these. 

If today, you are a woman who has found her Strength & Independence, celebrate.  YOU DESERVE IT!  Then after the party, DO SOMETHING to help another woman who is still looking for hers.

In Mary Kay's on-going quest to provide the products, services and business opportunities that women around the world are looking for now and for the near future, we just completed a major global research project that we called "WWW" or "What Women Want".  We had learning sessions in 7 countries across the globe: the United States (we also met specifically with Latina women in the US), Mexico, China, Russia, Brazil, Korea and Ukraine.   Women were randomly selected from among a larger group who met the age, lifestyle and other factors that we were interested in, and each woman selected was asked to invite a good friend to attend the session with her. It was great fun getting to know these women and their friends, and hear all about their lives, their careers, how they used technology and their feelings about beauty. Over the course of the next several posts, I'm going to delve into the lives of these women and share the insights we gleaned from them. 

At the end of the day, no matter the country they call home or the culture they hold dear, there are 10 fundamental things that these women want in their lives right now. I have seen this "Universal Woman", and she is us.  Let us now reflect on ourselves.

Ten Things Women Want Now

1.  Completeness                                          6.  Personal Income

2.  Strength & Independence                       7.  Men, sometimes

3.  Family + Choice                                       8.  Pampering

4.  Fulfilling Career                                       9.  Social Media

5.  Connection/Sisterhood                         10.  Trust

Let's now dive a little deeper into the desire of completeness, as it seems to be the most fundamental of all. 

This means to put every area of her life together as she wants it.  She knows what she wants, how to achieve it, and she is reliant on no one to get it.

Many of these women are getting married and having children later in life, allowing them to become more comfortable with who they are before taking on another role in life.  They value a good education, are strong enough to make sacrifices and work hard, and are skilled at coordinating multiple roles.  Becoming "self-realized" is the end goal -- being her own person, living up to her potential and reaching her goals -- knowing who she is.

This is the desire that drives stay-at-home moms to look for opportunities to expand their thinking and contributions beyond their family responsibilities, and the desire that drives successful corporate women to seek volunteer opportunities in the community to freely give their time and talents.  Women continue to seek out those things which they feel are missing in their lives, and those things usually aren't really "things" at all.  They are usually experiences and feelings -- learning, growth, confidence, mastery, gratitude, thankfulness.

I think it is this sense of completeness that brings women true happiness, and comes when the aspects of our lives are lined up according to our authentic selves.  It is the exact opposite of the empty and unhappy feeling that comes when we are doing things because we think we "should be" to fit into social norms, or because of what others might think about us.  I've seen many women who appear to be complete and happy from the outside, but on the inside, well, they're downright miserable.  When I think about the women that I know that are truly happy, they all (1) "love" what they are spending the majority of their time doing (no matter what that is), (2) they have a healthy sense of self-confidence and feel little pressure to conform to others opinions, (3) they give more than they take, and (4) they make it a priority to take care of themselves. 

There are many times when I have that sense of completeness myself, and then life happens, and I find that there's more work to be done on me. Whenever I am "having a moment" and not feeling complete and happy, I take a few minutes to think about these four aspects and can usually see one area that I've let slip that is causing me to feel less than satisfied.  When you can pinpoint what it is, then it's much easier to work on correcting that one thing, rather than continuing to wonder why you're not feeling good about things.

I look forward to hearing your thoughts on completeness.

Stay tuned as we continue to explore "What Women Want."