I saw a great quote on Twitter yesterday.  Unfortunately, an author wasn't cited, so I don't know who to attribute it to, but it really got me to thinking about what happens to us when things don't go our way.

"Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted"

If that is true, which I believe it is, then I know without a doubt that Mary Kay Ash would have said that she had lots of "experience"!  For example, when she was a salesperson herself (before founding our company), she had set her sights on winning a beautiful handbag that she had seen a previous sales leader earn.  She set that as her goal, and worked hard all year long to earn one for herself.  She achieved the level of sales required, but she didn't get what she wanted.  Instead, she was rewarded with a flounder light (evidently it's something you use to attract fish when you're trying to catch them).  From that experience, she decided that if she ever got the chance to award prizes to other sales women, they would be the kind of Cinderella prizes that women really wanted, like that original handbag that she wanted.  And that is exactly what she did, and we still do today.

I often Heard Mary Kay say that "If we ever decide to compare knees, you're going to find that I have more scars than anyone in the room.  That's because I have fallen down and gotten up so many times in my life."  Yes, Mary Kay Ash was very familiar with experience.  One of her most famous and oft-repeated and re-Tweeted anecdotes is "We fail forward to success," most assuredly derived from all those instances when things did not go her way.  Even with all the "failure" she experienced, Mary Kay went on to accomplish what no other woman in business has been able to match.   Some of this success can surely be attributed to her hard work and willingness to make the sacrifices she needed to, but it also came from "knowing how to lose".

I can think of so many times when things didn't go the way that I wished for them to, or the way that I imagined them to, and I'm certain there were times when I was a really sore loser.  But looking back on those times now, I know I'm stronger, wiser and more helpful to others who need advice and coaching than I would be had it not been for the experience, and I'm thankful to have had a role model in Mary Kay.  I guess the real lesson I've learned is that my way may not be the best way after all, and I've learned to appreciate those times when things don't go my way, because I know that I'm going to grow as a result of the "experience."

After 20 years of running the company she founded, Mary Kay Ash set down to compile the traits that she thought had made her company so successful.  That "list" was published in 1984, as Mary Kay on People Management.  An updated version was released in 2008, under the title The Mary Kay Way.  One of the many traits that she relied on for her success in business was her woman's intuition, and a caring, nurturing spirit, and she was pleased that she had proved wrong the many who had criticized her for "thinking like a woman."

In the introduction to that book, Mary Kay says, "Throughout this book I discuss the specific ways in which women do think differently from men.  Such differences are in no way inferior to or incompatible with 'the way a man thinks.' And so one of my objectives in founding Mary Kay was to create a business atmosphere in which 'thinking like a woman' would not be a liability.  In my Company those special sensitivities and talents often labeled 'women's intuition' would be nurtured -- not stifled."

One of the first things I learned of when I came to the company more than 25 years ago, was that each week, a "care bulletin" was created and sent to Mary Kay.  This "care bulletin" was a list of women in our independent sales force who were very ill or in the hospital, had family members who were hospitalized or recently diagnosed with disease, had just given birth or were newly married, or had a family member pass away.  In other words, those "life events" that cause us to reach out to those people that we care about to offer condolences, get well wishes or congratulations.  Each week, when she received the list, Mary Kay Ash made it a priority that each woman on the list received a personal note from her, reminding her of how important she was to us and that we were thinking of her and her family.  Back then, I think we had about 120,000 Independent Beauty Consultants in the United States.

Today, there are 600,000 women in our U.S. sales force, and each week the care bulletin is created, just like it was back then.  Since Mary Kay Ash is no longer with us, our executive team sees to it that each woman on the list receives a personal note from one of us.  I'll have to admit that in this day and time I don't send many hand-written notes or letters, except for these.  I know they are quite rare in this e-mail, text message, Facebook, Twitter world we live in, and I think that, perhaps, that makes them even more special.  I never really thought that much about the form of the note being that important, I was always focused more on the message.  Until today.

Today, I received a letter from a beauty consultant in Georgia that I had sent a note to in August when I learned through the care bulletin that both she and her husband  were injured in an automobile accident.  I have copied the contents of her letter below:

Dear Rhonda:

I received your letter and it certainly made my day and lifted my spirit.  I appreciate you taking the time out of your busy schedule to write me a personal hand written letter!  Wow, you sure know how to make a consultant feel special!

Truly, you all are my family; I honestly feel the warmth and concern.  Thank you so much!  My heart is forever touched!

We are recovering well and we will make a complete come back!

In spite of my pain, I am determined to make it!  We are so happy to be a part of the Mary Kay family.  I know I have challenges ahead of me, but, somehow, the pain just does not seem to be so bad when you have a family that truly cares.

May the blessings of the Lord be upon each of you always.

With sincere thanks,

Cheryl Roberson

You see, Mary Kay Ash knew the impact of a personal, handwritten note.  She made them an important part of her company, and I'm so thankful that today they are still just as important.  Another day at the office for me, and another warm, fuzzy reminder of why this company is so special.

(Note to self:  write more hand-written notes. Will you join me?)